What is abuse?
Abuse is when a person:
- Commits an act of violence or physical harm, or threatens to do so, against another.
- Forces another to engage in sex or sexual acts against his/her will. (That is rape.)
- Intends to frighten or harass another through means such as speech, written letters, or implied threats.
- Restrains or prevents another from seeking help by telephone or any other means. Stalks another by repeatedly maintaining visual or physical proximity and/or conveying verbal, written, or implied threats.
People in abusive situations often feel trapped, humiliated, and helpless. Some feel bound by love or loyalty. Some feel shame and fear, or that they are protecting their families and others by hiding behind a veil of secrecy.
Abuse knows no age, ethnic, racial, or religious barriers. Violence does not go away by itself, and, unless the victim seeks intervention, domestic violence tends to increase in frequency and severity over time.
A victim cannot change an abuser. Domestic violence is a learned behavior. Victims are not at fault for an abuser’s actions. Disagreements and arguments, even heated ones, are part of a normal relationship. Physical, emotional, and other forms of abuse are not.
Cycle of abuse:
- Tension Building: A minor conflict, lasting a few hours to months, causes tension to build. During this period, there may be the feeling of walking on eggshells.
- Violent Episode: The tension explodes into an emotionally and/or physically abusive incident. Most often, the victim of the abuse blames himself/herself, or the abuser blames the victim, for the incident.
- Honeymoon Period: The abuser apologizes to the victim and expresses remorse, often buying gifts and promising to change This minimizes the seriousness of the incident, and tension starts to build again.
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City Attorney, Rob Wall
Phone
801-569-5140
